Radio

Radio, LL Cool J, Rolling Stone Magazine's #478

exile staff consensus: Top 300 album

the breakdown:
4.0 cannons - venerableseed and polchic
3.0 cannons - lenbarker
2.0 cannons - eurowags
1.0 cannons - angry young man

the essays:
CONGRATULATIONS to our own LB, who became the proud papa of LB, Jr. on 11/28/07. The little guy will be a lead guitarist in no time!

12/10 @ 9:00 a.m. - It's good to see that fatherhood hasn't dimmed LB's fiery analysis. He's back with an open letter to will.i.am of all people.

In summary: will.i.am, you're no LL.

Perhaps Mr. Black Eyed Peas' PA will find this site on his/her daily google-my-boss rounds. And if that happens : will.i.am, you're no OK Krupka.

In other quasi-LL Radio sound bites here's a link to Stones Throw records BADD Santa Mixtape. Song two uses LL's "Rock the Bells" beat and will surely get you into the Yuletide spirit. Yes, it's "Rock the Christmas Bells" and it must be heard to be believed.

12/7 @ 9:00 a.m. - Wags drops knowledge on LL's Radio giving the seminal album its just due while ably placing the album in its proper (and often forgotten) historical context.

11/26 @ 9:00 a.m. - A celebrity sighting and near riot in NYC! Was it Johnny, LL, or the Chili Peppers? Click here to find out.

11/20 @ 4:00 p.m. - I'm up first and I'm going in chronological order. Here are my memories of LL and of radios.

the introduction (done with Johnny Cash's American Recordings and the Red Hot Chili Peppers' Blood Sugar Sex Magik):
LL, the Chili Peppers, and Johnny Cash. Their Rolling Stone connection: Rick Rubin. Yes, all three albums were produced by that genre defying, Def Jam creating, minimalist producing workhorse. Two more of his hip hop albums and another Chili Peppers album appear on the list. That's right. No Slayer, no Danzig, and no System of a Down. Nevertheless seven ain't bad on such a 60's and 70's-centric list. And the man shows no signs of stopping. In the last two years he's recorded with eight more artists who made the RS500 list: Neil Diamond, U2, Green Day, Nas, KRS-One, Metallica, Weezer, and Jay-Z. Are those eight more disparate than the three albums we're about to hear? Let's see. click here to
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Blood Sugar Sex Magik

Blood Sugar Sex Magik, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Rolling Stone Magazine's #310

exile staff consensus: Top 500 album

the breakdown:
2.5 cannons - venerableseed
2.0 cannons - polchic and the angry young man
1.5 cannons - lenbarker and eurowags

the essays:
CONGRATULATIONS to our own LB, who became the proud papa of LB, Jr. on 11/28/07. The little guy will be a lead guitarist in no time!

12/3 @ 9:00 a.m. - polchic speaks on the wear and tear of her precious Blood Sugar Sex Magik tape.

11/29 @ 9:00 a.m. - I'm up with some memories from the bridge.

11/27 @ 9:00 a.m. - Len wishes for more brevity in Blood Sugar Sex Magik. Would that be less blood, less sugar, less sex, or less magik? He also managed a dig at The Joshua Tree. On its 20th anniversary no less!

the introduction (done with LL Cool J's Radio and Johnny Cash's American Recordings):
LL, the Chili Peppers, and Johnny Cash. Their Rolling Stone connection: Rick Rubin. Yes, all three albums were produced by that genre defying, Def Jam creating, minimalist producing workhorse. Two more of his hip hop albums and another Chili Peppers album appear on the list. That's right. No Slayer, no Danzig, and no System of a Down. Nevertheless seven ain't bad on such a 60's and 70's-centric list. And the man shows no signs of stopping. In the last two years he's recorded with eight more artists who made the RS500 list: Neil Diamond, U2, Green Day, Nas, KRS-One, Metallica, Weezer, and Jay-Z. Are those eight more disparate than the three albums we're about to hear? Let's see.

click here to
read it all...

She Meant You No Harm

I can't empathize with Len Barker's need for brevity in Blood Sugar Sex Magik. Not because I disagree with his insightful post, but because my version of the recording has already truncated itself.

Poor little battered cassette tape. Heavy usage in my parent's minivan, my friend Sarah's trusty Honder and numerous unforgiving, tape-chewing portable stereos has turned the Chili Pepper's alleged manifesto (though I would argue Mother's Milk is the superior work) from a 17-song album that is "just too damn long with too much filler" to an eleven song teaser. Maybe. On a good day.

Side one starts off strong. But midway through "If You Have to Ask" the tape warps and a few seconds of a backwards "My Lovely Man" bleeds through. Don't worry, the previous song returns the favor if one is lucky enough to get to "My Lovely Man" on side two. Towards the end of "Funky Monks" the tape just stops. And somehow creates an immovable force which makes it impossible to either forward or rewind the tape. You are stuck in time. Wait a bit. Let the cellophane cool. Then try again. Don't even think about rewinding all the way back to "Blood Sugar Sex Magik" at the start of side two. That ain't gonna happen.

Like the mysterious Bermuda triangle-like spot in "Funky Monks," I get sucked back into a very specific point in time while listening to this Rick Rubin production. One that's filled with long drives between Providence and Harrisburg and Pittsburgh and Ocean City, often late at night and ill-advised. In fact, most of my decisions then were ill-advised. Reckless. Indulgent. Preoccupied with sex (although unlike Kiedis, I wasn't getting any). It was a phase with far too much filler that probably lasted a little longer than it should have.

Blood Sugar Sex Magik was the perfect soundtrack. click here to
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The Bridge

I first heard the Chili Peppers on the radio. Local Harrisburg classic rock radio. 1991. "Under the Bridge". Yes, I was late to the game. But that didn't change my appreciation of its epic and accessible sadness. I listened. I became one with the elaborate but understanding bass line. The siren song of the call- and-response chorus sucked me in. I got it. I really did.

So when a high school classmate condescendingly asked "You know that song's about heroin, right?" I realized that I didn't really get it. This whole alt universe was new to me; I knew something outside my small-town world existed and I wanted to be there. Outside Harrisburg, and outside classic rock and into the libidinous world of college, edginess, and the big city. That was what I saw in "Under the Bridge", Nirvana, and anything else alt that snuck into my small world. Lyrics be damned.

My time was coming. Everything was set. My senior football year had just ended and I was scheduled to take a recruiting trip to Georgetown University. My nervousness was off the charts. What had I gotten myself into? The drinking, the girls, the big city, the alt-ness. Every part of me knew that I wasn't ready.

When I crossed the Key Bridge I saw the hilltop campus. It looked like a scary impenetrable fortress. The sky had a greenish-navy glow that spoke of doom. The parking lot I pulled into was nearly empty. There were no signs of life. No students. Just drifting leaves and the harsh glow of the parking lot lighting. I parked outside the McDonough Gym, the place where I was to meet the coaches, even more scared and more out-of-place than when I had left home.

I took a deep breath and headed up to the building's massive front doors. I gave a big tug. They were locked. I walked around the building. Lights all off. Every single door locked. I was all alone. A cold short lonely walk into campus revealed no more students. Everyone was gone. It was their winter break. The coaches had confused the dates. From a pay phone I contacted the necessaries (coach and parents) and decided to drive the two hours back home.

When I crossed the Key Bridge again "Under the Bridge" came on the radio and this time I really got it. click here to
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Young, Dumb, and Full of Red Hot Chili Peppers

The Red Hot Chili Peppers’ Blood Sugar Sex Magik reminds me of U2’s Joshua Tree, not just in how these albums brought these already popular bands into the forefront of pop-cultural awareness, but also in how these albums let me down and proved to be the last albums that I would ever buy from either band.

Although I have found it nearly impossible to appreciate the post-superstardom work of either group, when I consider how enormously successful their careers have been since then, I realize that I probably should not hold it against either of them. Apparently, what really worked for them and most of their fans is precisely what doesn’t work for me.

So what went wrong?

For me and U2, it’s cut-and-dried: I don’t like the songs on The Joshua Tree; they don’t move or impress me, plus the production, despite the involvement of the genius Eno and the talented Lanois, makes everything sound washed out and dreary--just a few too many repeats and a touch too much reverb on the Edge throughout the album, I’m afraid. On the other hand, I share a more complicated relationship with Blood Sugar Sex Magik. There are some great songs on this album, and Rick Rubin’s production shines, really bringing out the best in every member of the band.

So what’s there not to like? Well, the major problem with Blood Sugar Sex Magik lies in the fact that it is just too damn long with too much filler. Pare it down to the essentials, and then you’d have one hell of an album:

Ditch the drab, mid-tempo “Funky Monks”. “Mellowship Slinky in B Major” is neither funky or punky enough to work for RHCP and just comes off as a lame attempt at hip hop, so we don’t need it on this “great” album. “The Righteous & The Wicked” is just Chili Peppers by numbers, and this band needs energy above all to be convincing, so this is a prime example of the chaff dragging this album down. Say “goodbye” to “The Greeting Song”, a weak riff on the same silliness that works so well on “Give it Away” but not here. Lose the pointless and terrible cover of “They’re Red Hot”, ‘cause when your cover can’t match the fun sexiness of an ancient, scratchy blues recording and “fun sexiness” is pretty much your whole game, you’ve obviously made a bad decision.

This leaves us with:

1. The Power of Equality. 2. If You Have to Ask. 3. Breaking the Girl. 4. Suck My Kiss 5. I Could Have Lied. 6. Give It Away. 7. Blood Sugar Sex Magic. 8. Under the Bridge. 9. Naked in the Rain. 10. Apache Rose Peacock. 11. My Lovely Man. 12. Sir Psycho Sexy.

That’s twelve strong songs culminating in the sickness of “Sir Psycho Sexy”! I never could wrap my head around Blood Sugar Sex Magik enough to really love it, but that looks like an album that would have blown my mind. Put the rest on an EP with “Soul to Squeeze”, and that would have sold millions, too. click here to
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