OK Krupka

This album sucks. Not because Thom Yorke is so ugly you'd swear one of his parents must have been a barnyard animal. Not because his sleepy eye thing makes your skin crawl. Not even because Radiohead kicked open the door to a million crappy bands using machines to create something that isn't even close to music. OK Computer sucks because of Christine Krupka.


Christine was a bespeckled, lanky dork that I knew at my first job after college. We shared an office, she playing the role of favorite and me playing the role of guy the boss couldn't care less about. I liked her in that "glad we share an office, but I wouldn't hang with you outside of work" way. Although, I have to admit I did once have a beer with her at a local bar in an attempt to set her up with a friend of mine who seemed hard up. I kept her on her toes by peppering our daily conversation with all manner of sexual innuendo, dumb insults, and friendly namecalling. She was very talented at making sh!tty one-color brochures that advertised classes in turfgrass management and wastewater treatment. And, despite her inability to match her tops with her ankle length skirts, she was pretty damn smart.

While Christine was busying herself deferring her matriculation at Yale Law School so she could keep getting paid crap wages and winning regional educational marketing awards, she was also cultivating her indie cred by reading Spin and talking about the new bands she was into. I was still into loads of grunge and alt country stuff at the time, so I didn't exactly have anything nice to say when she made me listen to Kula Shaker. Then, one morning, she comes into the office and can't shut the f@ck up about OK Computer. You know, just regurgitating whatever the hell she read in the reviews as if she had formed these insights on her own. I wanted to choke myself to death every time she brought it up.

I had enjoyed Radiohead up to that point. "Creep" was a decent single, I thought, despite what the speed-metal loving bassist in my band thought. And, I had actually purchased The Bends. But, you know how it goes. When someone like Krupka becomes enamored with a new album, you just can't like the damn thing. So, despite how good this album might be, I have never really given it a chance. I can't even see the cover without thinking of her and those damn brochures.

I will admit that as the years passed and the buzz of Krupka's chatter faded, I did find some appreciation for OK Computer - at least it isn't as retarded as Kid A.